Selfhood is explored within my art, this is illustrated through the large acrylic paintings of figurative women, using myself as a model. As my body goes through the changes that come with aging, I have had to re-create who I am now as a women and as a mother. “Lilith” is a reflection of this god-awful perimenopausal epoch and is a self-portrait of me at this time. The story of Lilith comes from old Christian scriptures, she was Adam’s first wife. It is said that Lilith was made from the same soil as Adam, thus making them equal. When Lilith asserted her equality and refused to lie under Adam, she was banished from Eden for this disobedience. Lilith fled to the Red Sea wher she turned into a temptress, a breeder of demon spirites and killer of children in the night. (I can relate.) My body has decided, without my consent, to murder my ability to bear children and has killed my sense of womanhood to some extent, and much like Lilith, I feel the damnation. At the same time I recognize this damnation as a blessing, a rite of passage into the second act of my life. This is a journey of self-expression, celebrating the multifaceted layers of my identity, and embracing the beauty of growing older. I challenge my own ideas of beauty and aging, reclaiming agency over my image and my own being, reinventing myself in this process. My self-portraits recognize the complexity of a life lived, reflecting the experiences that shape who I am at this pivotal stage in my perimenopausal life. By baring myself both physically and emotionally, I allow you to witness the unapologetic celebration of my body at this time, free from constraints and expectations. These vibrant nudes serve as a declaration of self-acceptance and empowerment, going beyond ageist notions and affirming the vitality and vibrancy of life beyond youth.